There’s zero point in being proud to be Asian as a mixed person

To start off, let me say I was never self hating, I was always overtly proud of being Asian; I don’t know, maybe this was just to be rebellious against my white worshipping Chinese family. Last time I saw them the were talking, practically bragging, about how my female mixed cousins “didn’t look Chinese at all.”

However, I did eventually go through a stage where I didn’t want to be Asian because ALL ASIAN PEOPLE I KNEW sent the clear message to me that white was better. And I briefly became a Neo Nazi. Perhaps the worst part of it was that I rejected non-white women who genuinely loved me, because my racist white dad and his religious psychosis convinced me that women were all whores, and that no woman would want a half-Asian guy, only a white guy.

Now I know the usual libshit, happy go lucky Wasian crowd will say “being proud of your race is dumb,” but that’s just the usual gaslighting nonsense that these people say because I’ve literally been bullied for being Asian for most of my life, to the point of my mother telling me to not tell people. And that’s exactly what Wasians are, as a group, a bunch of deeply insecure men and women whose entire existence is inflated by their insecurity, hence making up all kinds of claims about being superior and special because they’re mixed with white.

But now that everything in my life is said and done, let me earnestly say that the situation is pathetic.

Most Asians are self hating. Outside on the street, it’s 100 to 1 WMAF to AMWF. I don’t care about white women at all, but it’s a good metric of how bad it is. And don’t get me started on Wasian men; Wasian women get with white men at almost universal rates and even the stereotypical “good looking, tall” Wasian guys I see never have women with them. And most Wasian males AREN’T good looking and probably effed in the head anyways due to their moms’ racist scheming.

I have Asian men in my life who center their entire existence around being “basically white” and getting a white woman despite being 40 and not having a woman, or being in a sexless, childless relationship with a white woman, or having been cheated on by a white woman. On top of that, because of the way I look and carry myself, I guess I come off as “too Asian” and my former friends were rude to me for being “too Asian.” I’ve had Asian women with their white partner roll their eyes and try to move away from me in public for looking too Asian. I’ve had Asian American military men mean mug me in public because they mistook me or a mainland Chinese person, which isn’t the first time I’ve heard that; my grandmother says I look Northern Chinese. When I mention that I find black or Asian women more beautiful than white women and would rather have a relationship where I don’t have to code-switch all the time, they look at me like I’m a loser. My brother at this point is a 40 year old who loves Trump and told me he wants to look like a “real all-American boy,” while complaining about white women with black men.

Asian people’s entire existence is about trying to be white, getting white peoples’ approval. My mother is practically a statistic when it comes to foreign born women marring broke, openly racist white men; for what, exactly? I read several stories of Chinese women marrying men who killed them, and the stories are almost always the same: she had a Masters degree (I get it, gotta marry up with le heckin’ education, right?), the guy was an open racist, he was legitimately ugly by white standards, he didn’t really work, she was vicious and brutal to him, she went insane from living in his little white house in his little white town. My mom used to tell my dad the way he ate was disgusting to the point that he covered his face with his hand while chewing. And my mom hated going to my dad’s rural white town so bad she forbade me from living there as part of her will when she died.

But she still married him. On top off that she told me to marry only a Chinese girl. Not that I care (I like Asian girls and not physically into white women), but her hypocrisy astounds me. How terrible are Asian men that women are willing to die for it? If it’s so important to overlook a man’s racism in favor of his education, potential wealth, etc, then what’s the point in being Asian? What’s the point in being anything other than a greedy monster who believes love doesn’t exist and marriage is merely for convenience and upward mobility? (Oh wait, I just described 99% of people).

I just realized this past month several shocking things: 1) I may have been a visa baby. 2) My mother definitely wanted me dead. And 3) My dad was legitimately racist to a point that I myself didn’t want to admit it. He read me Rudyard Kipling books and only yesterday I found out that the dude was a legit dyed in the blue racist…. against Asians.

The whole thing, this pretending Wasians are all good looking despite marrying hideous, objectively ugly white guys, being openly racist against other Asians, etc., is all a cover up for the fact that self-hatred is the default state of Asian people. It’s not possible to be truly good looking if your father is truly ugly. I know for a fact people treat me worse because I’m half-Asian, or maybe more accurately, because I’m PROUD of being Asian and don’t want to associate with these white worshipping losers or this cursed alliance between racist white men and self-hating Asians. People call me an “n-lover,” all the time, simply because I reject being white.

That’s why nobody can name a half-Asian male success story of any real merit, where the guy is legitimately attractive, is actually loved by women and the women he gets (not getting divorced like the Miami Heat coach), etc., etc. All these guys that have become sex symbols over biracial Asians are all monoracial Asians from Asia.

White worshipping Asian men are the most pathetic men on the planet

𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐮𝐫 𝐊𝐰𝐨𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐞 on X: “I already tweeted this earlier but I love white people. Needs to be said more than ever today. They want us to feel like “cucks” for supporting nativism amongst others. I love everyone. But I repeat, in a climate that is dedicated to anti-whiteness… I love white people.” / X

Take a walk down the street and all you see if WMAF and BMWF (white guys + Asian girls and black guys + white girls).

Yet Asian guys keep trying to throw shit against a brick wall and pretend that if they act white, make enough money, etc., etc., then white women will get with them even when Asian women don’t even want us.

Asian guys in the far right such as Arthur Kwon (@badazn) are basically just suffering from brain trauma over the fact that white and Asian women would rather sleep with unemployed black bad boys over his tall, “good looking” (by western standards of masculinity) Korean ass, and so he copes with “white lives matter.” And other dumb stuff. Trust me, I look on par with Edison Chen, Daniel Wu, etc., in terms of looks and the only white girls who ever pursued me ALL got with black guys. I am more of a ghetto Asian aesthetic and personality, though. It doesn’t even matter though because in general I really only like the way women of color look (but I do not discriminate).

I feel like this rise of the far right / conservatism among all races is a collective brain trauma over girls lusting over bad boys of every race and so now all the nerds of every race have gotten together to throw money / conservative values around in an attempt to deal with the trauma of witnessing girls in their prime (both the men and womens’ prime) throw themselves at bad boys. When I bring up how many girls have asked me to me my face to smash, all these straight talking, nasally sounding, “white girl only” Asian guys get worked up and super mad about it.

White girls would rather sleep with unemployed bad boy black, Latin and Asian thugs than a well put together Asian guy with money, so it’s hilarious and sad to see white acting Asian men like my Japanese uncle (who whined about white girls getting pregnant by black drug dealers), cope with “I’m practically white!” Even a child could figure this out. And then they also discriminate against black and Latin girls, the only girls who would desire them.

It’s a miracle there are even any full Asians left in 2025, but still Asian guys go after white girls who would rather date two pitbulls than be with an Asian guy.

Communism for sexy men; capitalism for incels

I was at a communist museum in China dedicated to foreign gifts given to China, and I noticed immediately that all of the non-white, non-European countries gave elaborate, beautiful gifts bearing their traditional culture. Especially the African countries. The only European country to give amazing gifts was Russia, and some smaller states like the Czech Republic or something. At the end of the museum I just saw this photo, which I’ve never seen in my entire life, and just stared at it for like 5 minutes (not even being sentimental or corny, I just was amazed by the photo) cause all the cats in it looked so happy. We were taught in Murican schools that being communist meant you were miserable and poor.

On the OTHER HAND, the western white countries all gave sports stuff. Like saddles, skis, footballs. America gave NFL jerseys. Like a cheap-ass jersey with President Xi’s name on it. I was legitimately disgusted by it. And this goes past my usual eyerolling at whites, it just made me legitimately annoyed.

That really ticked something in my brain box. Growing up I never played sports, I never liked them. They were sweaty and gross and guys were grabbing and rubbing all over each other. Basketball was alright, I played a little baseball, but I found them dumb when I could just leave and go hook up with a girl. I found there were too many weird white dudes who would get super worked up about sports… like who cares?

As I said, I focus on my sex life because I’m convinced it’s the reason behind my ideology. Since I was a teen I’ve had girls telling me to my face they want to do things with me – in bed. Yes, really.

I hung out with a lot of POC people from all walks of life and it was normal to just want to chill with the girls who wanted to smash us. We used to clown on the white people in my school since they were all into theater and obnoxiously loud, despite being a minority at my public school. Ever since I was a kid I had this dream of leaving the US – which I found static, weird, cultureless – in favor of going somewhere else. I used to get adamantly mad when one of my friends joking called me “white.” Because I took it as saying I had no swag and couldn’t get laid. Which is exactly what they meant when they used “white” as a slur.

I’ve always been a good guy and was well liked in my schools for being genuinely chill, kind and basically “keeping it real.” A lot of that comes from my early upbringing around my friends, and yes, the girls.

It’s been incredibly hard for me to upwardly integrate into “white society.” Not only corporate society, but American society at large, which is super puritan, swagless, and fake. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, corporate liberals or country people, they all seem like they’re putting on a front. Yes, this mostly applies to white or people who want to appear as white. I’ve never cared for money or saw the need for a career and always took an interest in hanging with and helping out the working / lower classes. It just came natural to me.

It’s been really hard to go from girls basically telling me they want me to get them pregnant, to our current culture, which is weird, capitalist, asexual, hateful, stiff and gay.

I think that’s why communism comes easier to MOST* POC men and good looking guys. We don’t need money to get laid. I talked to some of my friends and they seem to report that women asking them how much they make is normal for them. I sit there scratching my head thinking back to the times that women have straight up asked me to F them even knowing I was making like $1,400 a month. I remember sitting on the steps of my university with this random handsome one legged Afghani or Lebanese friend I made, and he was telling me how he had girls kissing his feet in bed, and he just couldn’t understand it, nor did he want it to end.

(*I say most cause the most annoying pro-American people I know are two 5’2″ midget Asian men in my family who act like knockoff white guys and I’m sure they’re both on the DL).

But to guys who genuinely understand women as a process of being purchased or wooed with money, obviously money becomes everything. An entire culture rooted around hoarding wealth to “keep” a woman that won’t even touch you is basically normal for most guys in the western world. It’s so soulless. Like, completely soulless. There’s nothing more real than a woman looking you dead in your eyes and telling you she wants you, she wants to eat you. That’s why everything seems fake to me, since I was a kid up until now. I guess when it happens to you enough, you become a man who has nothing to prove and everything to give. My life has been long but also it’s felt incredibly short. I feel like every day I’ve lived I’ve reflected on wondering what was going on my head but I think I finally get it. 25 years ago feels like yesterday because my “Wasian IQ” has given me an overactive brain (I hate the term Wasian, though).

Truly staggering stuff. It’s hard for me to even believe this, and I’m near 40 years old now. It’s crazy cause I honestly feel like I’m the first person to ever be self aware about this. Being half white maybe has been a blessing in that it’s provided me insight into both sides long enough to see what the real issue is. Part of the reason I’ve always been so F’ed up is because I’ve struggled between being what I really am – basically a player loser Chinaman like the kind my self-hating uncle HATED back in China – and being half-white, and being made to feel like I was wrong for doing what came naturally. For a long time I wondered what the hell my parents’ problem was, but now I see it.

Ever wonder why there are so few successful half-Asian men?

Relative to our numbers, there are virtually NO Asian looking half-Asians of any measure of success in America. Compare that to half-black, half-white people.

So, whenever someone states (the usual garbage argument): w-w-w-what about Keanu Reeves? Keanu’s father was a drug addicted WMAF half Asian who passed as full Asian, and married a model – thus Keanu is 1/4 Asian, but technically AMWF (Asian male / white female)

Then of course they name some other messed up half-Asian female celebrities from 20 years ago (ahem, ahem, a certain one who wound up in a sex cult). Or name some totally white passing 1/4 Asian person and have the BALLS to say: “see! Half Asians can be successful, if they’re only 1/4 Asian and look 100% white!”

There will NEVER be a half-Asian, Asian presenting president of the US. Obama even himself admitted that the reason he was proud to be black was because his mother said that “black guys were cool.” When an Asian woman marries a white man – she is saying “white men are cool.”

Big problem there; half-Asian men aren’t white. So basically you’re slammed in the face by this every day of your life from the day you’re born – this idea that Asian guys are not welcome in America… not even by our own parents. Add to it the usual autistic creepy weirdo + Asian mom combo, and there’s no real reason for there to be successful half-Asians in the western world.

“B-b-b-bbut what can I do to raise my half-Asian son well?”

I don’t know. You decided being Asian wasn’t worth it. You yourself said it was worthless on a man. Figure it out.

How I became a half-Asian Nazi and why I’ll always live in shame because of this

What scares me is how easy it was to do this.

My brother is still a 40+ year old virgin with far right beliefs and I sincerely believe he wants to bring slavery back.

Do I have an excuse? No. But I can understand how this happened. As I said many times, my father was a pathological narcissist who wanted to “feel big” and basically fight back against what he saw as social change that penalized him as a white man – and he obviously had a problem with white women sleeping with black and non-white men – thus a “traditional” Asian woman was his methodology of achieving this. People take the path of least resistance in life, because life is a zero sum game and people are awful and evil – yes; even one’s parents. My dad was one of those guys who believed sex was evil, black men shouldn’t get with white or any women, that the Holocaust didn’t happen, that Jews ran society, that horror movies were evil, that the whole world was an evil place out to get him – rather than adapting to it. In reality he probably was a sexually frustrated autistic incel who never experienced the happiness and pleasures of life so all he could do was extrapolate his hatred onto the world.

Naturally, his sons would have inherited this narcissism and racism. I also have an adopted Asian uncle who literally thinks that he’s a white man – driving big trucks, wearing an American flag on his hat, talking like a weirdo redneck, wearing shorts in winter time, all around being a cringe knockoff of a white man. Why? Well – insecurity I suppose. I’ve heard both of them make comments about black men banging white women; talking about how bad immigration is; how much they love Trump.

Yes, that’s what it’s about. It’s a pathological fear of black men. Fear of sex. I went through this phase. My father was like this – deathly afraid of sex and women, which I think is why he went for an Asian woman – who he must have felt was asexual and predictable enough not to sleep with a black guy for fun. But before that, I wasn’t like this. I think a lot of my behavior stemmed from the subtle bullying and alienation I felt for being Asian. From friends, family, etc., the endless subtle comments. So it was easy for me to be swept up into Naziism. I wanted to be white at one point, but not really; I was also very proud of being ‘cool’. I was deeply insecure about being Asian for a while, as a result of the insane amount of microaggressions and betrayals. I remember in college – I had a crush on a black girl, and even she slept with one of my racist white friends, and I think that did major trauma to my brain, subconsciously. Naturally – I wanted to be white like my friend. After all – my mother had married a racist white man, not an Asian man, and to feel like I belonged and was “part of it all,” it seemed simpler for me to just adapt far-right politics in order to justify my newfound racism, my attempt to feel like I was higher on the hierarchy, despite being “lowly and weird Asian in blood.” When you’re surrounded by the toxicity eventually it becomes overbearing and you just want to fit in and belong, ESPECIALLY if they were people who were supposed to love and care about you.

I don’t feel I’ll ever live this down, because at the time I knew what I was doing. I was acting out of insecurity, and to this date I don’t know if I will ever be truly comfortable with being Asian. None of my Asian friends are; they’re ALL self-hating. Deep down, I was able to escape the far-right pipeline because I realized that I was a decent guy, and didn’t relate to the stagnation and sterile nature of white society. I remember even deep in my Nazi phase, I went out and befriended random black people at bars, on the street, etc., because I felt like I had more in common with them. Their freedom and coolness. But, again, I realize this was a luxury, to escape it. My brother? My 5’2″ Asian uncle? They’re a product of their insecurity, their lifelong brainwashing.

I helped myself by thinking back to how I was before I was, 21, or so. I was ardently anti-racist, and even didn’t like white people, like many New Yorkers, I thought they were cornballs. I didn’t even find the most stereotypical blonde / blue eyed white women attractive at all, to this day, I don’t, but then again, it’s not about what I find attractive – but more what THEY find attractive and as I see now, white supremacy is now going global. I remember growing up watching BET and ONLY being attracted to dark toned women. I don’t know what happened; I was introduced to some far-right anti-Jewish thought by some roommates of mine senior year of college (one was Persian, one was black, ironically) and I think from there I started to read some filth and it permanently screwed my brain up.

Nowadays, my brother is so brainwashed and in so deep on his racism that even at 40 he’s not willing to give it up. My father had brainwashed him and I to feel that IQ, “culture,” etc., made us more valuable than blacks, Latinos – aka, “wild,” “savage,” “oversexed” people. And all of his failures are due to mental illness rather than his own inability to function in the real world with equal competition. He believes HE deserves women and power, not “low IQ” black men.

I don’t think there’s a solution to this. It’s all I can do – just write.