Tag: writing

Insecure Wasian men, Part 3,473

Another day, another insecure son of an Asian woman and her white man posts on Reddit. There’s dozens of these posts a day. IRL, I see a lot of half Asians and they always have that same 1000 yard incel stare on their faces.

Not a mystery why: Asian women are seeking integration into whiteness and the sons are not white, so get confused, especially since their dads are generally the type of weirdo guys who white women rejected for their looks, so the sons have to carry the bad genes, plus their moms self hatred, with zero explanation or rationale, and are thrust into the world trying to just figure it out. So many of them go on this weird Wasian arc, desperately asking the world “do I look Asian or white?”

“Am I a superior, master race Wasian, mom? I must be, because my self hating Asian parent told me I’m special for being half Asian!”

Then reality hits and the world just sees some mid guy and the half-Asian goes from having a massive overblown ego about being half-white, to just being another incel chud with an obsession with being a real American man with all his guns and beards and military obsession.

It’s funny cause growing up, as I said, my mom seemed to hate me and I couldn’t figure out why, but as I get older I look back at old photos of myself where I had, at a younger age, convinced myself I looked more ambiguous or even white, and I look like 75% Asian, and now I realize my mom hated me cause I resembled her cheating dad or something. She used to go on these insane rambles about Pol Pot and communism and how great America and white people were, and now I realize that to her with my Asian bone structure I resembled all those cheating, communist Asian men she hated. Makes sense cause I had fine black / white women chasing me around looking to hook up and she was deep into this insane brand of ultra Christianity and feminism and desperately tried to turn my Wasian brother into her personal eunuch pet project.

I hate to be the one to be a doomer, but honestly with as obsessed Wasians are with their “master race status,” it’s actually completely spoken out of insecurity. Let’s be real about it: if your parents genes are chopped you’re gonna be chopped, and Wasians are so convinced they have amazing genes when in the real world, women look at hot guys, even Asian guys, and make split second decisions.

“Half Asians are all tall and good looking!”

Are half Asians REALLY that good looking?

Or are Asian people just obsessed with not being Asian and marrying white people and producing half Asian kids who they desperately NEED – not want – to be “good looking” in order to justify their mass colonial obsessions?

Or is pushing this “half Asians are all so good looking” just a form of pushing white supremacy against full Asians and other black or non-white people?

I’m gonna be using lots of bolded text for people since they don’t seem to get it.

The reality is, and yes, this is the harsh reality (I’m putting it in red here, to emphasize the point): if you’re physically attractive, speaking from a male perspective, and from my own experience, a woman, a girl, whatever, would have told you to your face in like, elementary school.

Yes, that was the first time someone told me this; women will just literally say “you’re hot“‘“ to your face. And no, not a single time did I hear “oh wow you’re so hot cause you’re mixed with white and Asian.” If anything, I was just lumped in with every other Asian guy.

And yes, I’ve had Asian women attack me in life, I’m guessing because they felt that I looked too much like their “player Asian dad” or whatever BS they had trauma with. And no, my “looks” never helped with extreme bullying or alienation I endured for being half Asian. It never helped with being made to feel like a perpetual outsider. I don’t even think I’m that hot, I just have big ass cheekbones that for some reason trigger peoples’ hindbrains to read “hot Asian guy,” but triggers negative reactions in self hating Asians who desperately want to join hu-white people land.

So what’s causing 6’2″ Wasian guys to wonder if they’re good looking or chopped, unless nobody is telling them to their faces?

Here’s the reality of it: you’re attractive if you have good bone structure. This is not race dependent. An unattractive white guy who had it with ‘white feminists’ (aka women who don’t want him because of his looks), and has a kid with a self-loathing Asian woman who desperate wants to be seen as white / to live in a white country – will NOT produce a magically attractive half-Asian child. And telling a child he should be viewed as super hot by default simply for being half-white doesn’t work, because in the real world, women take one look at you and are like “nah.”

That’s the real reason why so many half-Asians have massive overcompensation complexes, where most of the dudes wind up being pay-for-play finance bros trying to buy a white woman to “feel like a real American.” Because our parents relationship isn’t based on love, or even looks; it was based on utility and trying to get a visa or have higher status babies or whatever.

And yeah the only reason I’m the way I am is because I magically for some reason came out looking exactly like my Asian mom which made her hate me and made Asian women hate me for resembling those evil player misogynist Asian guys with standards.

Asian women who regret marrying white guys but already have kids

It’s funny how similar many of these cases are to the point of feeling statistical. I mean, that’s what half Asians are – a statistical representation of Asian women deliberately seeking out white men. That’s why so many of us, especially the males, are crashouts waiting to happen.

I have a paper trial of writing about this for 12 years, describing very similar situation with my mom. Including her being sick, my parents sleeping separately, constant fights, etc, so I’m not making this up about how common so many of our backgrounds are.

My dad’s racism getting more extreme as his dead bedroom got more extreme. She doesn’t mention being a feminist and wishing she had daughters, which is what my mom told my brother, and she doesn’t mention trying to kill her sons, like my mom tried to kill me. I’m not sure if she tried to kill me because I looked more Asian or because she was trying to spite my Nazi dad. I don’t even know if she found me white passing or not, or if her hatred of Asian men was rooted in her hatred of her own “cheating father” and she saw the Asian bones in my face and decided to take it out on me while Tiger Momming my brother to the point of being totally castrated, a eunuch, 42 years old and a MAGA virgin who told me he wants to look like a “real American boy.”

But what’s the point? These women already got what they wanted – their white man and white passing kids, so then they go into bizarre panic mode trying to teach the kid to be proud of being Asian when their mom represents the millions of Asian women who only wanted a white man. Even when I was a kid I used to flip my parents’ photos around because I subconsciously knew that the prevalence of WMAF was a symbol of how undesirable Asian looks on a man were. And lo and behold, despite people calling me “white passing” (I’m not when I gain weight), I’ve been bullied by multiple Asian women just like her. So maybe her suddenly panicking is just as much about her realizing her sons will be the “new Asian guys” as it is her realizing she married a racist – but she already knew that. I don’t even think Asian moms of sons can even tell how Asian looking their kids are, when people make value judgement on your bone structure anyways and most people can tell if someone has “Asian bones.” Like this Chinese bitch I met in London who I tried to bond with over being Chinese and she told me I would “finally get laid in China.” She had a white boyfriend, of course.

And her kids already have ADHD, so it’s like they’re basically already showing signs of the autism and mental trouble WMAF kids have, because these women specifically made a choice to bring children into a world WITH a self-hating mother AND an undesirable white man who wanted an Asian wife for his colonialist insecurities.

I honestly think so many half-Asian men are mentally screwed, some to the point of being gay, or coping with money, or being white supremacists, because of the nihilism of having an Asian mom who genuinely thought only a white man was good enough to have kids with.

AMWF hardly exists

Everyone knows that WMAF (white man + Asian female) outnumbers the inverse at least by 100:1. Everyone knows that, simply going outside.

This is in despite of Asian / Wasian male spammers spamming AMWF all the time in their attempt to “get revenge” on WMAF, which is even more pathetic. Again, AMWF doesn’t exist and when it does it’s generally “mid” white women being paid by some self-hating Asian man.

So, on top of there being extreme racism against Asians UNLESS that said Asian person is a woman – you now have millions of half-Asians born almost exclusively to white fathers.

Won’t that have some profound psychological effects on the offspring?

This is the reason why to this date, there haven’t been any successful half-Asians of any real merit. Hell, even with AMWF couples, as rare as they are, the children are rarely successful because of racism, and because the dad is usually just as self-hating and throws money at some white woman to overcome his “Asian tax.”

I say that as a guy who just randomly won the genetic lottery and have an appearance that makes women really like me and actively chase me, like what happened with the actor Jiang Wen. Either Asian men are rejecting white women (like I did), or white women are not chasing Asian men. I don’t believe that men have any say in any of this.

Also, just looking at Wasian men you can tell none of them have the swag or confidence that comes with being one of those guys who is liked by women for free. Past a point it’s because of the WMAF dynamic emasculating most Wasian guys, but it’s probably because most of them just aren’t hot enough. Even my mom noticed that my brother looked more like my dad and was gonna be celibate for life so she got into Tiger Momming him, while she saw that girls liked me and I guess that triggered her “Asian men are all bad” mindset and tried to murder me.

There’s zero point in being proud to be Asian as a mixed person

To start off, let me say I was never self hating, I was always overtly proud of being Asian; I don’t know, maybe this was just to be rebellious against my white worshipping Chinese family. Last time I saw them the were talking, practically bragging, about how my female mixed cousins “didn’t look Chinese at all.”

However, I did eventually go through a stage where I didn’t want to be Asian because ALL ASIAN PEOPLE I KNEW sent the clear message to me that white was better. And I briefly became a Neo Nazi. Perhaps the worst part of it was that I rejected non-white women who genuinely loved me, because my racist white dad and his religious psychosis convinced me that women were all whores, and that no woman would want a half-Asian guy, only a white guy.

Now I know the usual libshit, happy go lucky Wasian crowd will say “being proud of your race is dumb,” but that’s just the usual gaslighting nonsense that these people say because I’ve literally been bullied for being Asian for most of my life, to the point of my mother telling me to not tell people. And that’s exactly what Wasians are, as a group, a bunch of deeply insecure men and women whose entire existence is inflated by their insecurity, hence making up all kinds of claims about being superior and special because they’re mixed with white.

But now that everything in my life is said and done, let me earnestly say that the situation is pathetic.

Most Asians are self hating. Outside on the street, it’s 100 to 1 WMAF to AMWF. I don’t care about white women at all, but it’s a good metric of how bad it is. And don’t get me started on Wasian men; Wasian women get with white men at almost universal rates and even the stereotypical “good looking, tall” Wasian guys I see never have women with them. And most Wasian males AREN’T good looking and probably effed in the head anyways due to their moms’ racist scheming.

I have Asian men in my life who center their entire existence around being “basically white” and getting a white woman despite being 40 and not having a woman, or being in a sexless, childless relationship with a white woman, or having been cheated on by a white woman. On top of that, because of the way I look and carry myself, I guess I come off as “too Asian” and my former friends were rude to me for being “too Asian.” I’ve had Asian women with their white partner roll their eyes and try to move away from me in public for looking too Asian. I’ve had Asian American military men mean mug me in public because they mistook me or a mainland Chinese person, which isn’t the first time I’ve heard that; my grandmother says I look Northern Chinese. When I mention that I find black or Asian women more beautiful than white women and would rather have a relationship where I don’t have to code-switch all the time, they look at me like I’m a loser. My brother at this point is a 40 year old who loves Trump and told me he wants to look like a “real all-American boy,” while complaining about white women with black men.

Asian people’s entire existence is about trying to be white, getting white peoples’ approval. My mother is practically a statistic when it comes to foreign born women marring broke, openly racist white men; for what, exactly? I read several stories of Chinese women marrying men who killed them, and the stories are almost always the same: she had a Masters degree (I get it, gotta marry up with le heckin’ education, right?), the guy was an open racist, he was legitimately ugly by white standards, he didn’t really work, she was vicious and brutal to him, she went insane from living in his little white house in his little white town. My mom used to tell my dad the way he ate was disgusting to the point that he covered his face with his hand while chewing. And my mom hated going to my dad’s rural white town so bad she forbade me from living there as part of her will when she died.

But she still married him. On top off that she told me to marry only a Chinese girl. Not that I care (I like Asian girls and not physically into white women), but her hypocrisy astounds me. How terrible are Asian men that women are willing to die for it? If it’s so important to overlook a man’s racism in favor of his education, potential wealth, etc, then what’s the point in being Asian? What’s the point in being anything other than a greedy monster who believes love doesn’t exist and marriage is merely for convenience and upward mobility? (Oh wait, I just described 99% of people).

I just realized this past month several shocking things: 1) I may have been a visa baby. 2) My mother definitely wanted me dead. And 3) My dad was legitimately racist to a point that I myself didn’t want to admit it. He read me Rudyard Kipling books and only yesterday I found out that the dude was a legit dyed in the blue racist…. against Asians.

The whole thing, this pretending Wasians are all good looking despite marrying hideous, objectively ugly white guys, being openly racist against other Asians, etc., is all a cover up for the fact that self-hatred is the default state of Asian people. It’s not possible to be truly good looking if your father is truly ugly. I know for a fact people treat me worse because I’m half-Asian, or maybe more accurately, because I’m PROUD of being Asian and don’t want to associate with these white worshipping losers or this cursed alliance between racist white men and self-hating Asians. People call me an “n-lover,” all the time, simply because I reject being white.

That’s why nobody can name a half-Asian male success story of any real merit, where the guy is legitimately attractive, is actually loved by women and the women he gets (not getting divorced like the Miami Heat coach), etc., etc. All these guys that have become sex symbols over biracial Asians are all monoracial Asians from Asia.

Asian women and their ugly white men

I’m gonna completely eviscerate WMAF this morning. I just realized how nihilistic this white worshipping stuff is and how my mother 100% knew what she was doing – and then people wonder why I’m so “crazy.”

I saw a comment on Youtube about a Chinese woman who left rural China and married an American in Silicon Valley; it was a video about an adopted Pakistani girl speaking fluent Chinese, embracing Chinese culture, and going so far as to refuse to leave her small rural town to move to a big city. This woman commenter was a Chinese woman stating she was in tears every time she saw the girl’s videos because she regretted moving to Silicon Valley to pursue a career, education and money. She commented she wanted to go home and regretted leaving the countryside.

I looked at her videos and her husband is a a classic 2/10 white guy who talks like the sexually invisible autist. Just imagine every stereotype about a Silicon Valley engineer who wouldn’t be able to reproduce if Asian women didn’t exist.

Her comment triggered me cause ever since I was a kid I wanted to leave the US and move back to China and I would constantly pester my mom why she married my loser, racist dad if she was so proud to be Chinese.

My mother and my aunts all admitted to me they never loved their white husbands. Asian women are very blunt, very practical people, and to say Asian women are somehow blind is hysterical. Asian women are the opposite of blind. So why do they marry these hideous white guys?

My guess is for “muh education” or “muh status,” plus they get a guy they can boss around and don’t have to sleep with, cause not a single woman alive will want them. Fine, good, but then these same Asian women whine and complain about how unhappy they are, they shit all over and abuse their white lapdogs and then on top of that try to parent their hapa sons into being “Asian” and their daughters into being prostitutes for white men. In one case my aunt still keeps her last name from her first marriage to a white guy she LITERALLY SAID TO ME SHE NEVER LOVED – simply to have better career options. And now she’s with this 5’5″ Jewish guy who got (in his words) “divorce r@ped” by his white ex-wife and now just goes on rants about the CCP, Muslims and communism every time his pint-sized ass shows up at CNY. The dude is so crazy that last time I saw him in October, as soon as my aunt came over to hug me this guy runs up and just wraps his arm around her and tries to pull her away from me. Like, papi, she’s my aunt. He’s literally intimidated by a half-Asian, Asian looking guy showing up around my 64 year old aunt.

Asian women are like any other women, but also ten times more blunt and unable to control what they say, and most importantly, aren’t blind, so they are fully aware they marry men they are physically repulsed by. But it doesn’t matter, because they NEED to marry this white man for the purpose of pursuing their educational / assimilation goals, with the added benefit off having total control of a dead bedroom where the man has NO OPTION but to accept it.

The worst issue of course comes with the kids, especially the sons; not only are we left with absolute dregs of fathers, guys who had no business reproducing at all, which winds up creating men like my brother, 41 year old virgins with zero ability to function other than as a worker drone. On top of that, we’re subjected to gendered racism against Asian men which our mothers again, do not care about, because she NEEDS to marry her ugly white man. The final cherry on top is the insane violence, dysfunction and anger within the home when the Asian woman’s pathological distaste and disgust for the ugly husband comes out every 2 seconds and she’s a giant ball of anger, rage, and disrespect, just 24/7, due to her loveless, asexual marriage.

That’s why half Asians have 300% of suicide rate of monoracials. Our mothers married specifically for race – but not even for a valid reason, but just because. And they rarely if ever pick winners, they deliberately go for the most anemic, asexual, dweebish, weird white guys around, then expect their half-Asian sons to be perfectly well adapted to a world where interracial marriage between Asians is wildly lopsided and being Asian is only seen as good when it’s on a woman. On top of that, they simultaneously push this “hybrid vigor” shit onto sons whose fathers are 5’5″ invisible men, and then poorly equip us to deal with legitimate, actual racism from women. Then, they wine and pine for “Asian society” realizing fully well Asian society won’t take them after they sold their wombs and souls to ugly white guys in the west, and definitely won’t take us, their sons, after we ourselves get rejected from the west.

The living hell of being a half Asian man with a white dad / Asian mom

You know – before we begin – I’d like to talk about how happy I used to be a long time ago. Then I learned that there’s something called “gendered racism” against Asian men, and it was everywhere and it cut the soul out of my body and even 17 years later I haven’t recovered. So, let me tell you how I really feel. I was in denial for years about how bad it was because my parents and Asian family successfully brainwashed me into thinking I was white – but around 23 I realized that I literally wasn’t. I recently looked at some kid photos of myself and realized that I looked way more dark and ethnic than I had ever imagined myself.

Also, let me stop you right there before you talk about “muh Wasian celebrities” or “Joji” or “Keanu” or “some hapa you know with a 300k a year job and his mid white wife.”

I’m talking about the generalities here of being half-Asian and male, in the western world. For every “successful Wasian” you can name, I can go outside and see 100 WMAF couples, 0 AMWF, and like 15 “Wasian” men walking around totally alone, even with their dad’s money. Whenever I look around and try to find a normal “Wasian” man, he’s always gay, weird, into extreme military shit (i.e., gay), or weird.

Reason why? NOBODY WANTS ASIAN LOOKS ON A MAN. Period. On women – Asian looks are passable because they provide companionship for lonely incel white dudes with cash on hand. But on men – forget it.

I’m just gonna copy and paste from Twitter.

Being a half-Asian male is basically a fate worse than death.

1) Our own mothers generally hate Asian male looks. Asian culture is ruthless and marrying a white man just because he’s white, not because you love him, is basically seen as “a thing one must do,” for no real reason other than “just because.”

2) Insane bullying only against Asian males, with Asian women joining in.

3) My own mother hoped for daughters, cause they’re easier to assimilate into western society than half Asian men. She told my brother this, and I recently learned from him about two years ago that she had told him this. My OWN MOTHER hoped for daughters.

4) 99% of half Asian women get with white men. Both AMWF and WMAF are like this. Of the two dozen or so Wasian girls I know, 100% of them married a white guy.

5) Dad was a Nazi sympathizing autist with major aspbergers. He was a Holocaust denier, read books by Pat Buchanan, Ezra Pound, Enoch Powell, and all kinds of far right stuff.

6) Mom tried to kill me on several occasions, I guess for looking too Asian.

7) Bullied for being Asian by non-Asian guys who used to get Asian girls.

8) Had an Asian girl tell me I should go back to China to get laid. She had a white boyfriend

9) Own family member bragged about how Caucasian one of my female cousin’s kids looked. “She doesn’t look Chinese at all! That’s awesome!” This was about October 2025.

10) Aunt’s boyfriend went on a rant about Muslims last CNY when we heard the call to prayer outside of their apartment building.

11) Met a Chinese girl at a party. Told her I was half-Chinese and she went “ew” and walked away

12) Most of my Asian American male friends are so mentally beaten they make fun of me for speaking Chinese. Most of them are single pushing 40.

13) 100% of my former friends made fun of me for being Asian.

15) My brother is a 40 year old Trump supporting Nazi who believes slavery should be reinstated. Thinks he’s white and wants to be an “all American boy.” Also a fucking virgin at 40.

16) My aunt always tries to ask me if I think I look more like dad or mom (white or Asian), hoping I say white. I don’t look white.

17) Mental problems from meeting white people and hearing them say racist shit thinking I won’t care because I’m half white.

18) Asians gaslight me constantly telling me I’m privileged and white when I’ve literally had the shit kicked out of me by Polish gangsters in Brooklyn. I look so Chinese that old Chinese men outside of China look at me and smile.

19) Every Asian girl in my family is with a white guy and these guys are uniformly ugly and / or racist or both.

20) Every half Asian girl I’ve ever met whether her mom or dad is white, gets with a white man.

21) Only girls who like me were Indian / black, mom made us break up by telling me black girl would give me AIDS. Exes were Indian and my dad shamed me with his religious brainwashing out of having sex with them, and yeah I believed him.

22) Because I’m tall people in the US think I’m mainland Chinese and treat me like absolute shit, especially if they’re Asian.

23) WMAF couples stare at me when I try to just eat lunch or dinner alone. I’ve had a couple just sit there and fucking look up with spoonfuls of congee in their mouth just looking at me like they were trying to gauge if I’m “okay” or not with their shit.

24) Police / customs agents have profiled me before coming back into the USA from China. I was born like 1.25 miles away from Laguardia airport.

25) Former “good friend” told me “bigguuhh Amelican penis” (South Park reference) when I told him I was going back to China. This same guy could only get with Asian and half-Asian girls.

26) When I talk about or try to complain about my racist white family my Chinese family just claims that I’m mentally ill and that I need to “focus on career”

27) my mom weighed 75 lbs at her death due to starving herself out of depression at marrying my dad

28) mom beat the shit out of my brother and I to take out her anger at getting with my Nazi dad

29) mom used to make fun of dad while he ate so he would eat with his face in his hands

30) mom would pull us into bed and have covert emotional incest

31) I’ve had literal Asian women roll their eyes at me and try to show PDA to their mid white boyfriends in front of me… for the crime of being (half) asian and sitting next to them in a church or airport

32) Gay Asian TSA agents harass me because they think I’m Chinese

33) get asked “where I’m from” almost once a week despite looking CLEARLY EuroAsian but that doesn’t mean shit because I’m basically full Chinaman to westerners

34) Asian Americans tell me to STFU bc I’m “white” but in China, cops looked me in face n were surprised I was foreign

35) There is ZERO community for biracial Asians bc most biracial Asians online are homosexuals emasculated by their WMAF golddigging moms and racist dads, and basically 100% of #Wasian girls marry white dudes

36) When I was like 11 my Chinese cousin used to bring home these huge Jewish guys and have loud sex with me downstairs, downright sexual abuse

37) Her sister told me that she couldn’t wait to leave China to “kiss all the white people in NYC” (NYC is 40% white)

Communism for sexy men; capitalism for incels

I was at a communist museum in China dedicated to foreign gifts given to China, and I noticed immediately that all of the non-white, non-European countries gave elaborate, beautiful gifts bearing their traditional culture. Especially the African countries. The only European country to give amazing gifts was Russia, and some smaller states like the Czech Republic or something. At the end of the museum I just saw this photo, which I’ve never seen in my entire life, and just stared at it for like 5 minutes (not even being sentimental or corny, I just was amazed by the photo) cause all the cats in it looked so happy. We were taught in Murican schools that being communist meant you were miserable and poor.

On the OTHER HAND, the western white countries all gave sports stuff. Like saddles, skis, footballs. America gave NFL jerseys. Like a cheap-ass jersey with President Xi’s name on it. I was legitimately disgusted by it. And this goes past my usual eyerolling at whites, it just made me legitimately annoyed.

That really ticked something in my brain box. Growing up I never played sports, I never liked them. They were sweaty and gross and guys were grabbing and rubbing all over each other. Basketball was alright, I played a little baseball, but I found them dumb when I could just leave and go hook up with a girl. I found there were too many weird white dudes who would get super worked up about sports… like who cares?

As I said, I focus on my sex life because I’m convinced it’s the reason behind my ideology. Since I was a teen I’ve had girls telling me to my face they want to do things with me – in bed. Yes, really.

I hung out with a lot of POC people from all walks of life and it was normal to just want to chill with the girls who wanted to smash us. We used to clown on the white people in my school since they were all into theater and obnoxiously loud, despite being a minority at my public school. Ever since I was a kid I had this dream of leaving the US – which I found static, weird, cultureless – in favor of going somewhere else. I used to get adamantly mad when one of my friends joking called me “white.” Because I took it as saying I had no swag and couldn’t get laid. Which is exactly what they meant when they used “white” as a slur.

I’ve always been a good guy and was well liked in my schools for being genuinely chill, kind and basically “keeping it real.” A lot of that comes from my early upbringing around my friends, and yes, the girls.

It’s been incredibly hard for me to upwardly integrate into “white society.” Not only corporate society, but American society at large, which is super puritan, swagless, and fake. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to, corporate liberals or country people, they all seem like they’re putting on a front. Yes, this mostly applies to white or people who want to appear as white. I’ve never cared for money or saw the need for a career and always took an interest in hanging with and helping out the working / lower classes. It just came natural to me.

It’s been really hard to go from girls basically telling me they want me to get them pregnant, to our current culture, which is weird, capitalist, asexual, hateful, stiff and gay.

I think that’s why communism comes easier to MOST* POC men and good looking guys. We don’t need money to get laid. I talked to some of my friends and they seem to report that women asking them how much they make is normal for them. I sit there scratching my head thinking back to the times that women have straight up asked me to F them even knowing I was making like $1,400 a month. I remember sitting on the steps of my university with this random handsome one legged Afghani or Lebanese friend I made, and he was telling me how he had girls kissing his feet in bed, and he just couldn’t understand it, nor did he want it to end.

(*I say most cause the most annoying pro-American people I know are two 5’2″ midget Asian men in my family who act like knockoff white guys and I’m sure they’re both on the DL).

But to guys who genuinely understand women as a process of being purchased or wooed with money, obviously money becomes everything. An entire culture rooted around hoarding wealth to “keep” a woman that won’t even touch you is basically normal for most guys in the western world. It’s so soulless. Like, completely soulless. There’s nothing more real than a woman looking you dead in your eyes and telling you she wants you, she wants to eat you. That’s why everything seems fake to me, since I was a kid up until now. I guess when it happens to you enough, you become a man who has nothing to prove and everything to give. My life has been long but also it’s felt incredibly short. I feel like every day I’ve lived I’ve reflected on wondering what was going on my head but I think I finally get it. 25 years ago feels like yesterday because my “Wasian IQ” has given me an overactive brain (I hate the term Wasian, though).

Truly staggering stuff. It’s hard for me to even believe this, and I’m near 40 years old now. It’s crazy cause I honestly feel like I’m the first person to ever be self aware about this. Being half white maybe has been a blessing in that it’s provided me insight into both sides long enough to see what the real issue is. Part of the reason I’ve always been so F’ed up is because I’ve struggled between being what I really am – basically a player loser Chinaman like the kind my self-hating uncle HATED back in China – and being half-white, and being made to feel like I was wrong for doing what came naturally. For a long time I wondered what the hell my parents’ problem was, but now I see it.